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GOTCHA - a sure-fire orientation icebreaker

Every semester you're looking for a new icebreaker for student orientation. Asking around, you hear a lot of great ideas that either sound way too complicated or just aren't the right fit. You Google, ‘icebreakers' and it gives you about 1,080,000 results in .19 seconds. After spending forever and a day searching, you find an icebreaker that sounds simple and seems fun. How hard could it be? After all hey describe the whole thing in 3 sentences? Come orientation day, the icebreaker flops.

This is an all too common story. Most icebreakers flop because the students don't fully understand the directions or they feel corny or awkward doing it. It ends up being a lot of work and not a lot of play.

Follow these instructions... This one's never let me down

I've used this hundreds of times with thousands of students since I learned it six years ago. . Being a professional speaker and student leadership trainer, I'm on college campuses and at leadership retreats and orientations a lot. This icebreaker has never failed me - no matter the situation or size of the group. I often do it before I even introduce myself! I've used it with 750 uncomfortable freshmen away from home for the first time and I've used it in a group of five student leaders to reenergize in the middle of an intense leadership workshop. IT WORKS!

It's all in the details.

Follow the script! I say the same thing, the say way, every time. Over the years I've found out the hard way which words work and which words don't. Each word I say and the timing of each has a reason.

STEP 1 - "Everyone take your left hand and place it up like this. Make sure nothing is in your hands - hand flat, hand open." (see picture)

Gotcha

If you are facing a large group then raise your right hand when you say "left hand." That way everyone will raise their left hand. If you are in a circle with everyone, then raise your left hand along with everyone else.

STEP 2 - "Take your right index finger and place it in the palm of the person next to you. Make sure everyone is connected to someone. If you need to reach around or move over, go ahead and do that. Make sure everyone is connected."

Scan the audience for people by themselves or not participating. Gesture to them to connect with someone next to them. Sometimes I even say, "It's okay to do this" or "Make sure no one is left out."

STEP 3 - "When I count to three you'll do two things. The first thing you'll do is grab the finger that is in your palm... "
(NOTE: Avoid saying "I WANT you to do two things". This can create resistance. Some people might say, "I don't care what you WANT me to do.")

"...and the other thing you'll do is to take your finger out of their palm before they grab it. It'll look something like this." Demonstrate the movement in the air.
"Got it? If you don't get it, you'll understand it soon enough. Here we go, one... two... three!"
Model high energy, big smiles, a loud count and do it with them. Give them an extra moment to laugh and talk to their neighbors. You don't want to cut their enjoyment off early.
"We're going to do this 3 more times!" It's important to say that so their expectations match the length of the activity.

STEP 4 - "Set it up again, left hand flat, right index finger in the palm of the person next to you. I see that some of you are very ready..." Demonstrate with your left hand almost closed. Look around at people doing that and gesture to them as you say, "Palm flat, palm open, no head starts. Here we go, on three. One...two...three!" Again, pause to let them laugh and comment to their partner.

STEP 5 - "Okay, this time we are going to switch hands. Now place your right hand flat and open and place your left index finger into the palm of the person next to you. We'll see how ambidextrous you are." Give them time to switch hands. This really throws some people off. Sometimes I look at people struggling and say, "Your other right," with a smile, of course.

"On three, but this time I'm going to trick you. Don't go until I say three. Only go on three. Ready...one...two...two and a half!" Do this with a hard count to throw them off. Let them laugh a couple seconds... "THREE!" Again, pause for laughter and such.

STEP 6 - "Okay, last time! This is the big one. You can stretch out if you want to." Demonstrate stretching your fingers and have fun with it. "It's like the gold medal round of gotcha. Okay, set it up one more time - just like you were. Right hand up and open, left finger in the palm of the person next to you. Know that I'm going to trick you one more time. Not until I say three and only when I way three. One...two...FOUR!" Again with a hard count. This will get about 30% of them and they will laugh. Sometimes you need to mention for them to set their hands back up. Do this quickly. "FIVE!" (Hard count again)..."Six, seven, eight" (count that fast)..."TWO" (hard count)..."THREE!"

It really grabs ‘em by the...

What I love about GOTCHA is it addresses so many different factors that help a group connect and function well.

It gets people laughing, giggling and having fun.
It doesn't force people to do something uncomfortable. It's a low gradient activity that most people don't mind doing.
It breaks the touch barrier without making anyone uncomfortable. It's as simple as shaking someone's hand. Touch actually can help ease the situation and make people feel more comfortable and connected. It's very subtle, yet powerful.
It gets the group synchronized. Everyone is doing and moving at the same time and that helps creates cohesion and alignment.
It gets people accustomed to following your directions. And since the first thing they did with you was enjoyable and they felt safe, they're more likely to trust and listen to you.

So put this icebreaker in your pocket and be confident you have one that will never fail you.

Ice Breakers from Stende Inspirations on Vimeo.

Watch Gotcha in action at :57 seconds.

Karin at FIU

Karin recently presented the opening and closing keynotes at Florida International University's "Leadership Summit". Click here to read the article in it's entirety.

(Or the whole link if you'd rather... http://www.fiusm.com/articles/4847-summit-helps-students-gain-leaderships-skills )

Here's an exerpt from the article...

"...This year's summit was made up of three concurrent blocks of eight
sessions each and an opening keynote session with speaker Karin
Malkowski Stende, president of Stende Inspirations, an organization
dedicated to helping enhance the quality of student life on campus
through speakers and trainers, according to its Web site.

"I was thrilled to be invited because I think there is so much
potential for college students in particular to change the world and
make it a more positive place," said Stende, who was visiting the
University for the first time. Stende lead the participants through 
several introductory activities and ice breakers.

...At the end of the summit, most participants, including staff
members, were wearing a blue ribbon with gold lettering that read "Who
I am Makes a Difference." The concept of the blue ribbons was created
by Helice Bridges in the 1980's, who also trained Stende as a "blue
ribbon ambassador." The blue ribbon ceremony consists of taking a
minute to acknowledge people who may have made an impact on a person's
life and presenting them with a blue ribbon, according to Stende. Then
those people are given another three ribbons so they can pass them
along to others.

The "Who I am Makes a Difference" acknowledgement process has been
translated into 12 languages and received the 2005 The Mahatma Gandhi
Global Nonviolence Award, according to its Web site.

"I already see students taking more ribbons and saying, 'I want to
send it to my teachers,' or 'I want to acknowledge my mom or somebody
else I know,'" said Stende. "And I really do believe that the students
here are going to take those ribbons and paint Florida blue."..."

Troy plays hockey

Here's a video of me skating. I've discovered a new passion...but it took a little courage to take the first step

...on fear of joining new groups

Video Blog-Hockey from Stende Inspirations on Vimeo.

Momentum

As we move into season two of the NFL- the playoffs- there is a lot of talk about how important it is to have momentum. Teams need to create momentum at the end of the regular season...it's important to win your last game so you have momentum heading into the playoffs. It's this big thing that everyone has to strive for, something that, if you're fortunate enough, you will get. I just don't believe in that view of momentum. I am not denying the existence of it. I do believe momentum is real and it has an impact. But the traditional view makes momentum come off as chance or luck.

Let's break momentum down...you've got two teams very evenly matched and then half-way through the game, one team has a break-out play and they start dominating. The other team starts to break down and in the end, the game is a blow out. When the one team had the break-out play and started dominating the other, did the skill level of either team change? Not at all. I believe the difference is a mental shift, on both sides. After one big play, one team starts to believe in themselves more and in the other team less. One team believes they are better and they are. The other team loses confidence in their ability and they continue to go down hill; nothing goes their way, the ball never bounces in their favor. And as the game goes on each team buys into their own belief more and more, creating a snowball effect. They keep finding things that reinforce their belief and they continue to behave a certain way and stay in their respective roles: the champion role or the victim role.

A self-fulfilling prophecy.
In reality, what it comes down to is just a change of mental attitude, a change in a belief. It's a mental shift. I believe we can control these things. And if we can control these things, than it's safe to say that we can control a shift in momentum. If you are conscious about your thoughts and beliefs you can affect them and even change them. So with that in mind, is momentum a real thing? Yes. Is it chance? No. We can create our own momentum by consciously focusing our thought.

I'm going to take on a challenge this New Year. Feel free to join me if you'd like. My challenge is to create my own momentum. Not hope it happens or have it happen by chance, but to consciously create a positive and powerful forward-moving momentum. By focusing on my thoughts and my attitudes...from moment to moment, during great days and tough days. Fostering and reinforcing beliefs of confidence and abundance. To truly buy into those thoughts and create a snowball effect...to create my own momentum.

Resistance is futile!

Coming into the New Year, there's a lot of talk about resolutions. Getting back in shape, losing weight, getting organized, no more procrastinating...and the list goes on.
There's a great deal of pressure and tension and anxiety about creating this massive change at the start of a new year. And to me it gets overwhelming when I think of all the things I HAVE to do and all the changes I MUST make. I have to do it NOW and it has to be BIG!

So I've been thinking to myself, what can I do? There are some things I want to change and improve but in the past, when I thought about taking it all on, I would get overwhelmed by the enormity of it all and freeze up into non-action. So I created a plan this year and I'd like you to join me if you're up for it. My plan is simply to resist one temptation, every day. It might be different every time. One day it might be to resist that dessert, the next to resist turning the TV on when I could go work out instead; the next day I will resist the temptation to check my Facebook. I know this technique might not be for everyone. I think it works best for those of us who get overwhelmed by having to do or change so much that we end up taking no action at all.

One thing I know I'm going to resist tomorrow is checking my email the first thing in the morning. It seems the moment I open my email, whatever great plans I had for that day are put on the back burner...and they stay in the back all day. So tomorrow (and hopefully for many tomorrows after that) I won't check my email until 11:00 a.m., for 1 hr max, and then I won't check it again until 4:00pm.

I think the key is to resist just one thing and then count that resistance as a success. In the past, I've tended to get down on myself because I didn't do enough; this is where I get trapped into giving up, and end up quitting whatever it was I resolved to do. From now on, when the next temptation comes along and I resist it, I'll see it as a success. If I don't resist it, I won't see myself as a failure; I'll just recall the success I had already, forgive myself, and move on.

I feel better about making resolutions already.

Stende Inspirations